Mindful Monday: What Are You Expecting?

I stumbled across The New Happy a few weeks ago, and it absolutely clicked for me. While there is a book, I have signed up to get their daily emails. They also convert their emails into a daily 2-4 minute podcast if you'd prefer that method. Just wanted to share a post from last week that really resonated with me. Hope you find it insightful and that you are able to give yourself a little grace when we often try to do it all and do it all to ridiculously high standards. 

Everyone reading this email has way too much to do every day.

You have responsibilities that matter to you, you have to-do lists that never get finished, you have errands that must be run and chores to complete, you have needs to satisfy and hopes to seek out.

To cope with this overwhelm, we try to cut back wherever we can. We eliminate things from our lives. We try to be more efficient with less. We prioritize and streamline and promise to say, “No!” more frequently.

And yet this doesn’t seem to work: we still feel too overwhelmed, too busy, too committed.

That’s because we’re not addressing an equally-important part of this challenge. We need to also shift our expectations about how we do everything that we need and want to do.

Pause and get honest with yourself. What are you expecting of yourself? If you can admit, “I’m expecting perfection in every area of my life and in everything that I do,” you’re halfway to freedom.

These expectations kick off an absolutely vicious cycle:

• You expect perfection.
• When you (of course!) can’t be perfect, you beat yourself up.
• You resolve to try even harder to succeed at this impossible quest.
• That effort requires that you work harder and for longer.
• That makes you feel more stressed and overwhelmed.
• Those feelings make it far less likely that you’ll be able to succeed at your tasks (let alone at the superhuman level you're demanding.)
• The struggle to perform then leads to more feelings of shame and more expressions of self-criticism…
• And on and on it goes.

Here's the good news: you can release these inhumane expectations for yourself and, instead, accept that you are a human being, who is absolutely wonderful and has very real limitations, including the inability to do everything absolutely perfectly.

Embracing your humanity looks like:

• Leaving the dishes unwashed in the sink so you can play outside with your kids.
• Not responding to emails as soon as you get them.
• Taking a ten minute walk when you don’t have time to do a full workout.

It doesn't mean that you don’t care about doing well or giving yourself fully to your life. It just means that you stop striving for perfection everywhere and start looking to try your best instead. Your best will look different from day to day and from task to task. And that’s okay.

Here’s a mantra for the week ahead: I don’t have to do it all perfectly. I can just try my best.

​

Listen to the Podcast

View on thenewhappy.com ​

Mindful Monday: It Makes You Human

Feeling joy is like feeling rays of sunshine wash over you. The feeling is great. Unfortunately, the reality is we don't feel joy all the time. However, it would seem that our societal norm says that if you're not feeling happy, then keep it to yourself. 

The fact is, all emotions matter. Every emotion has a purpose. There is absolutely a time and place to be upset, like when boundaries have been crossed. There is a time and place for sadness, as it reminds us what matters to us. Even our little friend anxiety serves its purpose, as it helps us mitigate future problems. The goal is to not let any one emotion take over, but instead to feel our feelings and process them.  

As we age, our feelings become no less complicated. In fact, I feel like they only become more complex. (No one said adulting was easy.) 

There are times I’m not even sure what I’m feeling. Taking the time to breathe, be mindful, and reflect is absolutely the first step before I can make sense of them and decide how to move through them. There’s nothing wrong with “negative" feelings. It's what you do with them that matters. If there’s anything I’ve learned from not dealing with emotions in the moment is that they always have a way of rising to the top. If you don’t make time for them, they’re going to force you to make time later when it’s even less convenient.

Allow yourself the space to feel what you feel, and know there are no wrong emotions. 

Mindful Monday: Less is More

 

While slightly embarrassed​, I am absolutely one of those people with 27 tabs open on my ​browser.​ Here's the craziest part, the thought of closing them ​makes me anxious​,​ while simultaneously seeing all 27 ​stresses me out. And yet​, I still have them ​all there. ​I justify this paradox by telling myself, "I​ ​need them​." 

​During a day in age where stress levels are plenty high, why in the world would I knowingly add to my own stress?  

We live in an ​absolutely amazing time in technology where our Google tabs ​can be saved. We can organize our tabs​ into groups and ​even color​ code them.​(If these statements are mind blowing to you, check out the "how to" at the end of the Mindful Monday.) And all the while knowing these amazing tricks, I still find myself ​"needing​" all​ 27 tabs​.  ​Maybe I think I'm fooling myself into feeling more productive with the more tabs I have open. That coupled with the fact that society seems to tell us that we need it all​. ​

​However, maybe less is more​. 

​While the ridiculous number of tabs is just one way I add to my own stress, I know I am guilty in other aspects of my life. The ridiculous number of sticky notes, the need to say yes, the over committing my time, and worrying about things I can't control. All of these things add stress, more importantly, unnecessary stress. 

​My wish for you this school year is for you to let go of the extra tabs, ​find ways to lessen ​the clutter​ in your life, and ultimately to lessen the stress in your life​. 

​Google Tabs How To: 

If you have yet to discover how to "group", save and color code your chrome tabs, I'm about to change your life. If you have a set of tabs that you open every morning before you start teaching, consider saving them in a group. Right click on a tab you want to save. Click "add to group". Name the group and assign a color. You can make several groups, if desired. For example, I have a "Lesson Planning" group that has all my go to resources already pulled up. I also have a general group that includes my email, calendar, etc. Once you have created your groups, if you right click the actual group name, click "save group", this "bookmarks" your group of tabs so you can recall them at a later time.

Mindful Monday: Essential Staff

While my Mindful Mondays are intended for everyone, I wanted to take a moment to highlight ALL the staff members that support our classroom teachers. 

Our teachers wear a LOT of hats and juggle a LOT of balls. However, we can't do it all. And we absolutely can't do it without our Support Staff! Without a doubt, it takes a team to keep our school running, and to keep our staff going. Everyone from our front office, to our amazing educational assistants, to our cafeteria staff, to our custodians, and ALL our specialty staff members, we NEED each and every one of you to make our days run smoothly. You are more than support staff, you are ESSENTIAL staff! We can't do what we do without you! Thank you for your often overlooked efforts, for your unmatched dedication, and for showing up each and every day. Thank you for being the backbone to our school! 

Mindful Monday(-ish): It's Not Just You

No one really knows what they’re doing. ​I realize that is a bold statement, but no matter our age, our years of experience​, no one “really” knows what they are doing. Think about it​...no one has ever taught th​i​s exact group of students ​much less taught in September of 2024. 

Things are always changing​; boy are they! ​If it’s not the world around us changing before our eyes, then you don’t have to look far to see all the new initiatives, new programs, new curriculum, ​and new expectations. All the ​change can feel overwhelming. It’s understandable to feel like you’re the only one that doesn't know what’s going on, or isn't an expert with the new materials or doesn’t have it all figured out. The secret of it all is that ​no one does! You’re not alone​. 

This is not to say that we aren’t all trying to figure it out, to make sense of it all, that we aren't learning as we go. But instead, to say ​give yourself some grace. Afterall, we are all ​figuring it out as we go.  

Which brings me to my last point, check in with one another. Ask for help when you need it, and offer support to those around you when it “clicks” for you. Share your struggles because chances are you’re not the only one. But also be sure to share your triumphs. ​Because I assure you, there is a whole team around you cheering for you! When you succeed, our students succeed! And isn't that the whole point. 

Wishing you a year where you know you're not in this alone!